Facing Forward Stories shares real stories from parents and parents-to-be living with chronic illness and disability—highlighting both shared experiences and unique journeys. Through these voices, we offer connection, representation, and encouragement, reminding readers they’re not alone and that there’s no single way to keep facing forward.
Emma shares the realities of solo parenting a young child while living with multiple chronic conditions and a mobility-limiting disability, including the uncertainty of never knowing what each day will bring.
She has learned to adapt, protect her energy, and lean on trusted friends when needed—all while embracing how much she adores motherhood.
| NAME: Emma PRONOUNS: She/Her LOCATION: Southampton, UK DIAGNOSES: Psoriatic arthritis, Psoriasis, Migraine, PMOS, Degenerate Disc Disease, Hypertension CHILDREN: A 1-year-old daughter |
What came first for you: chronic illness diagnosis or parenthood?
Chronic conditions and disability
What have been the biggest challenges you have faced as a parent or parent-to-be living with chronic illness? How have you adapted to those challenges?
As a solo mama living with chronic conditions and a disability that affects my mobility (as well as having other comorbidities), each day can be quite scary, as I don’t know how I’ll be. I’ve had days where I have been in a lot of pain, but had to push through, as I needed to continue looking after my baby. I am immunosuppressed so easily pick up bugs from my daughter, which is now more terrifying as she’s at nursery—hard enough to look after a poorly child, but even harder when you’re knocked out by what they have, too. I’ve had to take her to nearly all my hospital and doctor appointments. One of the more terrifying parts has been when migraine has taken over, as my vision starts to fade and they wipe me out, so I have to do all I can to stay on top of them. At times it’s made my health anxiety spiral, as I am terrified of something major happening and not being able to look after her.
My way of trying to adapt and cope is to keep looking after myself as best as I can and, even if it’s hard for her, making sure I take time to rest when I really need to. I’ve put little set ups around the flat to try and make things easier, like having a mobility aid in each room so I know one is there, or using carriers on the days where it’s been harder to carry her around. I mostly remind myself that I need to focus on my health to be able to show up for her and support her. It is terrifying as family live miles away and I don’t have anyone else living with me, but I have great friends nearby who would drop everything in a heartbeat to help when needed.
What does a typical day look like for you and your family? Are there specific tips or systems that help your family function day-to-day?
Sticking to a routine as much as possible is very important for me, bur hasn’t always been easy as obviously babies and toddlers can be unpredictable as can chronic conditions and disabilities. A priority is making sure we get a good amount of sleep where possible and eat well-balanced meals.
The most important thing for me, especially where I haven’t been able to properly swim alone or get to the gym, has been to make sure we get to her swimming lessons as often as possible, but more importantly we aim to get outside every day! Even if it’s just 5 minutes around the park. It’s very tricky as things change so fast and I’m looking for a new job, which will then throw our routine off again, which will likely mean her nursery routine changes too, so it’s a lot to juggle and can get incredibly overwhelming. Having swimming lessons and outdoor time are key for keeping both of us more grounded and helping to look after our wellbeing.
How do you talk to your children about your illness?
So far, I’ve not so much as she doesn’t understand (only on limited small words), but I will say phrases like, “mama is quite achy today”, or, “give me a sec, I need a little more time”. I have a great book by a lady called Lynsey Garrik titled “Mummy’s Magic Walking Stick” which I have read to her a few times, and I let her play with my walking sticks which she absolutely loves!
What kind of support has made the biggest difference for you?
To be honest, I’m not entirely sure as I haven’t had that much since having my daughter. I received a lot of extra support during pregnancy, when actually a lot of my symptoms went into remission, but since having her and mentioning I’ve been struggling there hasn’t been any additonal support. If anything, friends and family have been amazing and helped me as/when I’ve needed it.
What is something you wish more people understood about parenting with chronic illness?
Parenting in general is hard, and motherhood is HARD! This isn’t to compete or dismiss anyone else’s experiences, but being a solo mother with chronic conditions and a disability is…well, lets just say some days I truly think I deserve a medal, haha (or a cash prize would be great). I work, I don’t get any financial support for my disability or condition and I’m in it 24/7 without being able to have a break (aside from now when she’s at nursery) but that isn’t a break! As soon as she’s there I am going to appointments, working, applying for jobs, and mostly cleaning up the flat for the millionth time that week. It feels like I have about 10 different jobs at one time with the added bonus of joint pain, dizziness, and fatigue on top. Yeah, it’s rough, but despite all that, I ADORE motherhood.
If you could go back to the day of your diagnosis, what would you tell yourself?
It will be a rough journey and it will test you in more ways than you know, but my goodness you will come to see how resilient and strong you are! You will go on to do great things because of it, because you don’t want anyone else to feel as lost, confused, and alone as you did, and it will be part of the making of you. Hold on, because there will be days that will try to defeat you, but you will come out winning every time.
What does “facing forward” mean to you?
It feels great to be part of a community and space that reminds you you’re not alone and supports people in similar situations throughout the pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting journeys. It can feel very isolating, especially when you have other parent friends who haven’t experienced anything similar, so knowing there are people out there who will listen or provide support and advice makes a huge difference and is so important!
Here’s where you can connect with Emma online!
- Instagram: @redsilvermama
| 🌿 Facing Forward Moments: Emma’s Recent Parenting WIN! 🌿 I taught my daughter to say “cat”—might not seem like much to many but my heart soared when she did it. |
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