Facing Forward Stories shares real stories from parents and parents-to-be living with chronic illness and disability—highlighting both shared experiences and unique journeys. Through these voices, we offer connection, representation, and encouragement, reminding readers they’re not alone and that there’s no single way to keep facing forward.
When Ali was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at age 29, she had no way of knowing how much that diagnosis would shape her future—including her journey through motherhood. Now raising two teenage daughters while balancing rheumatoid arthritis, Hashimoto’s disease, work, and family life, Ali has learned that parenting with chronic illness requires flexibility, honesty, and plenty of grace.
In this Facing Forward Story, Ali shares how her challenges have evolved over the years, the support that keeps her going, and why she believes life remains full of possibilities, even on the hardest days.
| NAME: Ali LOCATION: Mount Pleasant, SC DIAGNOSES: Rheumatoid Arthritis; Hashimoto’s CHILDREN: 2 Girls – ages 14 and 13 |
What came first for you: chronic illness diagnosis or parenthood?
I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis just before I was married, at 29 years old. My children have never known me without this diagnosis.
What have been the biggest challenges you have faced as a parent or parent-to-be living with chronic illness? How have you adapted to those challenges?
I think the challenges change for the season that I am in with my children.
When they were babies, it was really hard to do the small everyday tasks of brushing their hair, getting their boots on, getting them out of their cribs. I used to go to bed as soon as my husband got home from work because I did not have a minute more to give in my day.
Then when they were both in school some things got easier, but some got harder. I could not help out with field trips, or volunteering at school or show up in the ways I thought would make me a good mother. I had more mental struggles at that time.
Now as we approach high school and we are so incredibly busy with sports, school actives, social events, I am really, really tired. It seems that my Mondays are spent resting and recovering because I need that day to get myself back on track. Add in perimenopause and it’s crazy town over here!!
What does a typical day look like for you and your family? Are there specific tips or systems that help your family function day-to-day?
My days start and end early. I am raising some pretty self-sufficient kids who get themselves up and ready for school without much from me. I drop them off at school and, depending on the day, I get myself ready for work––I am in Real Estate or prepare from my podcast. I do try to take 30 mins around 2pm to rest a bit, that helps me get thru the school pick up, sports, dinner, nighttime chaos!!
How do you talk to your children about your illness?
I actually have an episode with my kids and their thoughts, concerns, memories good and bad on my podcast: The Autoimmune Mom Podcast on Apple, Spotify, & YouTube. But we have very open and honest conversation with them now that they are 13- and 14-year-old young ladies. We always had age-appropriate conversations, but sitting down with them and asking them questions on their life experiences with my health was really beautiful and I have never been prouder. I highly recommend talking to your children about how they see you, your health, your family lifestyles, and how that makes them feel. And, just for the record, we had several conversations about them being on the podcast, we talked about what that meant and how it will live on the internet forever, we talked about how it could help other young moms and their children navigating this life of chronic illness, we talked about recording it and never sharing it if we didn’t all agree on how it came out. But in the end, they loved it and wanted to share it, and it is my most downloaded episode.
What kind of support has made the biggest difference for you?
As soon as I read this question my mind went straight to my husband and to my mother.
Husband:
I was diagnosed right before we got married and this is absolutely not the life we had planned – not even close to it. A lesser man would have walked away, been resentful, maybe even angry. But not Morgan, whatever he can do to make things easier when I am unwell, he does it. He even agreed to move 1,000 miles away and start fresh in a new city and leave behind 20 years of career building to help me feel better. The winters in Boston were slowly killing me and I needed warmth, so we moved to the Charleston, SC area. He works all day and can tell within 5 seconds of walking through the door if he needs to make dinner or get the kids to whatever. He never complains. Not once. I always tell my girls the most important decision you will make in this life is who you marry and have children with. Pick wisely!!
Mom:
She is 1,000 miles away, so her support is more emotional, spiritual, and always comes with understanding and empathy. God knew exactly what he was doing when he gave me my parents.
What is something you wish more people understood about parenting with chronic illness?
I’m not really sure because I don’t really worry too much about what other people think about me, how I live, how I am raising my kids. It none of my business what they think and it too much to carry other’s opinion on top of chronic illness. We all have our crosses to bear, mine is physical and painful and those that love me see it and those that don’t well they just don’t. I know I am a good mom and as long as my kids are thriving that’s all I need.
If you could go back to the day of your diagnosis, what would you tell yourself?
Well, I was pretty clueless on what was ahead of me. I was a scholarship athlete, I had just finished my second Boston Marathon, I was mostly concerned with getting back to running and had NO CLUE what I was in for. All I knew is that for 29 years my body answered the call and did exactly what I wanted it to do if I worked hard enough to get it. This was different and I needed to rest which went against every fiber of my being. I think I would tell myself that resting is not shameful, it’s not lazy, it’s not “bad” — it’s necessary and it’s a form of treatment that I really, really needed.
What does “facing forward” mean to you?
To me it means not looking back, not living in the past – looking toward to the future and knowing it is full of possibilities. Life is beautiful even in the darkest of days.
Here’s where you can connect with Ali online!
- Instagram: @the.autoimmune.mom.podcast
- Facebook: The Autoimmune Mom Podcast
| 🌿 Facing Forward Moments: Ali’s Recent Parenting WIN! 🌿 My oldest is just graduated 8th grade with 5 High School Credits under her belt, and my youngest has worked her butt off and her soccer team is heading to regionals in Florida in June. They set big goals and we’ve supported them while they worked to achieve them. So Proud! |
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