If at all possible, I try to avoid having my kids tag along to my medical appointments. Having kids in the exam room with you can make it difficult to focus, it can be distracting and disruptive, and it can be downright exhausting – particularly if it’s an appointment you didn’t really feel like going to in the first place. But, as a mom living with a chronic illness, I have a lot of medical appointments. And unfortunately finding childcare isn’t always practical or possible. Sometimes I have no choice but to arrive, kid in tow.
I think having child with you in the exam room is easier with a baby or an older kid. Tiny babies are often happy in their car seats or strollers, and if you have to take them out they stay where you put them better than a toddler! Often if a little baby is fussy a boob or bottle can come to the rescue so you can concentrate on what your medical provider is saying. And older kids can be easier to entertain with a book or a tablet, and if they’re misbehaving at least I can communicate with them that it isn’t appropriate! It’s the toddler age that I find most challenging to have with me in the exam room.
If you have no choice but to have your toddler tag along with you, I wanted to share some of my tips and ideas for making it easier to survive!
(1) Try to burn some energy beforehand.
If the timing works out, I think it makes sense to help your toddler burn some mental and physical energy prior to having to behave at the appointment. A playground or somewhere to run around is ideal – though I will admit that sometimes the timing here can tricky. I have definitely tried to do this and then ended having to drag an angry toddler back to the car, because she wasn’t finished playing yet! But trying to make sure your toddler has some mental and physical stimulation before your appointment can still help them behave when you arrive.
(2) Contain them, if possible
Toddlers like to move, and unfortunately moving around a small exam room (or waiting room) can often be disruptive, distracting, and downright difficult to deal with. So, if your toddler will allow it, containing them in a stroller can make it much easier for you to focus on what the medical provider is talking about or other things you need to do. If they aren’t keen on sitting still in a stroller, sometimes you can push them around the waiting room or hallway to save the still sitting for the exam room.
(3) Harness the power of snacks
My toddlers were always pretty decently behaved (or at least sat moderately still!) while eating – so, if you can, try to hold off on snack time until you are in the exam room. You can also try bringing some high value snacks that you know your kiddo enjoys – in my case it was often a double serving of fruit gummies and a sippy cup of milk!
(4) Have a backup entertainment plan
If you’re lucky, some physical and mental exertion before the appointment will result in a hungry kid who will happily eat their high value snacks in their stroller while you talk to your medical provider. But, in case that plan doesn’t seem to be working (and with toddlers you never know!) it can be useful to have a backup plan in your bag. An interesting toy, a favorite doll or stuffed animal, a busy bag, or a coloring book might be useful. And a tablet or phone is definitely an option too – Paw Patrol, to the rescue!
(5) Cut yourself a break
If all else fails and you end up with a misbehaving toddler while you try to pay attention to your medical provider (which definitely has happened to me before!) be sure to cut yourself a break. You’ve got a lot on your plate and you’re doing the very best you can. In my experience, providers have been very understanding about the need to bring my children along when necessary. And, for some doctors, it may actually be beneficial for them to get a peek into the things you deal with on a daily basis! I often find that my husband is able to explain my pain levels to doctors better than I am, and there’s nothing like a misbehaving toddler to help your provider understand your fatigue levels!
